I Just Don’t Know…

I cannot hide from my present condition.  I’m bound in a cocoon with voices forever present.  There are no answers here.  The only people I have found who understand were hospitalized with me.  They know the reality of this.  They know the hardship and pain.  But each of us is damned to walk it alone because our “community” is too self-absorbed to notice the plight of a brother and the severity of the situation.

I just don’t know where this will take me.

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2 responses to “I Just Don’t Know…

  1. I may not ever understand you or what you are going through completely but I consider myself your friend, and hopefully you feel the same about me, I don’t think anybody really has the answers for anything. The only thing most of us can do is have faith and hope and wish for the best for ourselves and the people we love.

    As far as not knowing where this will take you or where you will likely end up in this life, is just do it like everybody else does, one day at a time, and if you are lucky enough and blessed enough and fortunate enough to find people who will walk with you through this life then be thankful, that alone is a tremendously difficult task when everybody is so self absorbed and could give a shit less.

    I say many prayers and blessings for you and often times you remind me that it’s all for nothing cause you are doomed, it sort of saddens me and leaves me hopeless but I continue to do it anyway and I hope one day you will feel blessed enough by our friendship or other people’s friendship and love, that – that in itself will be enough for you and everything else will get easier to come to accept.

    I’m sorry that you feel the only ones you understand you or know anything about what you’re going through were hospitalized with you, hopefully you got a few people’s numbers then but I think it’s the same with me, how many times in my life am I gonna meet somebody that understands what it’s like and live through the murder of somebody that was so close to you, that you may as well be considered one, NOT MANY! But I live anyway., I try to continue anyway, I try and find comfort and solace with my friends and their friendships that mean the world to me.

    Nobody knows what tomorrow holds, nobody…

    We have to learn to make the most of the present and find things that make us smile and people that make us feel love when it is so hard to see.

    Much Love to you Always

    • You have been a dear friend and your reply is so beautifully written. I thank you for being a light through the tunnel, for your care and compassion. It means the world to me. My love and best wishes to you always. Thank you for brightening my day.

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