I hope no one minds but I thought I’d share a little bit about my experience. It may or may not resonate with you. I have been a shaman for many years having had experiences throughout childhood. I am in a dual conscious state in contact with spirit 24/7. It is a state I cannot simply turn off. I have been placed in psychiatric hospitals many times throughout the years while journeying—no one understood the state I was in. The last journey I have been on has taken seven years and that is why the weekend retreats of the new age does not resonate with me. I shaman full time and believe once you are called you are called.
I also believe the metaphor of death is not only a metaphor but is a real experience traversed by the shaman. I believe it is alright to call oneself a shaman if you know it to be true. After all, how would the tribe know—they do not know my experience. I do. I am fine with people uncertain and seeking to research this path but I tend to dislike those who discount my experience as it is very real. I follow no one having trained only with guides and signs of spirit and even they can be deceiving.
I am diagnosed with Schizophrenia which took on the appearance of DID in the past. I am merely a shaman who shapeshifts. I am what I am and I know that I know nothing. I am not all love and light having walked the path of hell which leaves one painfully scarred. I do the very best I can and am called to this place. There is a familiarity with it as if I’ve lived it before. I wish all of you safety on your journey. May you find what you are seeking. My very best to all of you.