I Am What I Am…

I hope no one minds but I thought I’d share a little bit about my experience.  It may or may not resonate with you.  I have been a shaman for many years having had experiences throughout childhood.  I am in a dual conscious state in contact with spirit 24/7.  It is a state I cannot simply turn off.  I have been placed in psychiatric hospitals many times throughout the years while journeying—no one understood the state I was in.  The last journey I have been on has taken seven years and that is why the weekend retreats of the new age does not resonate with me.  I shaman full time and believe once you are called you are called. 

I also believe the metaphor of death is not only a metaphor but is a real experience traversed by the shaman.  I believe it is alright to call oneself a shaman if you know it to be true.  After all, how would the tribe know—they do not know my experience.  I do.  I am fine with people  uncertain and seeking to research this path but I tend to dislike those who discount my experience as it is very real.  I follow no one having trained only with guides and signs of spirit and even they can be deceiving. 

I am diagnosed with Schizophrenia which took on the appearance of DID in the past.  I am merely a shaman who shapeshifts.  I am what I am and I know that I know nothing.  I am not all love and light having walked the path of hell which leaves one painfully scarred.  I do the very best I can and am called to this place.  There is a familiarity with it as if I’ve lived it before.  I wish all of you safety on your journey.  May you find what you are seeking.  My very best to all of you.

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