I won’t pretend to be integrated. Actually, I don’t believe I could ever truly be. I am not fully “co-conscious,” with my switching more like shadows passing in the night than anything else. They are ghosts to me. They come and go but with no real memory of such occasions and only journal entries as a witness it is difficult to document exactly what is happening.
Today, my diagnosis stands as “Schizophrenia” as my most recent psychiatrists are too distracted to properly observe the subtleness of my most recent switching. But it is there…the time loss…the journal entries…the lack of memory.
And so I live with ghosts inhabiting my mind, always wondering “Am I safe to be around?”