Go Find Yourself…

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We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it’s our job to invent something better.― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

The God You Deserve…

Could God exist if nobody else did? No. That’s why gods are very avid for worshipers. If there is nobody to worship them, there are no gods. There are as many gods as there are people thinking about God. When Mrs. Mulligan and the Pope are thinking about God, it is not the same God.

In choosing your god, you choose your way of looking at the universe. There are plenty of Gods. Choose yours.

The god you worship is the god you deserve.

–Joseph Campbell, A Joseph Campbell Companion

Ergi: The Way of the Third…

While tribesfolk differed on whether male or female shamans were stronger, they were united in believing that the transformed shamans – koekchuch, kavau, yirka-laul-vairgin – were the most powerful of all. In fact, the social respect allocated to them was used by researchers as an example of the power attributed to shamans in general; if an ordinary person of the tribe decided to change their gender, they might be shunned, but if a shaman did it, it was a sacred thing done by the spirits to give them extra power. Read more: Northern Shamanism

Strange Days I’m In…

I’m working with what I think may be the spontaneous opening of the chakras. It is not a path I sought but rather a path I was placed on. Though the universe is doing remarkable things with me there is a line that I must steady myself on or else I will fall into madness again. The madness is strange and though it is madness there is a lucidity or order within the chaos. Unfortunately, when I am in that state my mind works so quickly that my words come out as “disorganized” or “word salad,” a symptom of Schizophrenia. I have to learn how to convey what is happening to me while in trance, a very difficult thing to do. I’m working on it though.

My “identity” is another matter and I’ve become accepting of my two-spirit walk. I’ve moved past needing to live fully as a male and accept my walk as a merger of the two sexes. I look androgynous for the most part but then again I always have. I’ve been bullied by Alpha males but the more secure I am in my walk the less people seem to bother me. Though attracted to women, I find myself so enthralled in my work and secure in my relationship with my now “spirit wife” that I don’t pursue relationships on this side of the veil.

What I am writing is very important. I am a two-spirit, black shaman. It is an honourable position that I was chosen for. I fought it for a long time but I’m floating with the tide now and allowing it to carry me as far as it will take me.

I thank you, dear friends, for allowing me to be so open about my experience as a shaman. You have been a beautiful support for me. Be well my dear friends.

The Tenth Chakra…

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In the 10th chakra, it is said that the feminine and masculine merge completely. There is no sex, no gender, just divine union between Shiva and Shakti, so that there is no longer a separation. In Hatha yoga, this would be the union of Sun and Moon principles, or the balancing of energy in Ida and Pingala nadis. When this chakra is awakened, it is said that the skills you become aware of in the 9th chakra, can come into full fruition.
Carola Arcadia

 

I Choose to Love You…

I choose to love you in silence…
For in silence I find no rejection,

I choose to love you in loneliness…
For in loneliness no one owns you but me,

I choose to adore you from a distance…
For distance will shield me from pain,

I choose to kiss you in the wind…
For the wind is gentler than my lips,

I choose to hold you in my dreams…
For in my dreams, you have no end.

— Rumi

Chosen…

In Central and Northeast Asia the chief methods of recruiting shamans are: (1) hereditary transmission of the shamanic profession and (2) spontaneous vocation (“call” or “election”). There are also cases of individuals who become shamans of their own free will (as, for example, among the Altaians) or by the will of the clan (Tungus, etc.). But these “self-made” shamans are considered less powerful than those who inherited the profession or who obeyed the “call” of the gods and spirits. As for choice by the clan, it is dependent upon the candidate’s ecstatic experience; if that does not follow, the youth appointed to take the place of the dead shaman is ruled out. Mircea Eliade, Shamanism: Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy