…do I call myself shaman…
By the spirits who entered me and tormented me 24/7 for eight long years while the new age sat on their ass, mocked me, called themselves “The Great I AM” and had the audacity to question me.
I control those spirits now. They have learned respect and that is the authority by which I speak.
I’ve mentioned the fact that there is no privacy. I’m not talking about Facebook that is regularly hacked or emails that can easily be intercepted. I’m talking about real privacy of one’s own person.
We are being watched…always. Spirit? Other dimensions? Could be grandmother thinking you’ve become quite the little shit. Could be another form of life we will soon be introduced to. Don’t know who or what “they” are or what they want.
So the next time you are in the shower imagining that no one sees remember this is what drives the shaman mad. They are watching, are entering our minds and the madness comes from the shaman’s ability to hear and see them as well. The shaman is the person who can walk with this knowledge and not jump off a cliff. You try living with that knowledge and see where it takes you.
We are not alone.
Several years ago I had a couple of online “friends” who were pushing their new age and Jungian ideals on me. Nothing I did was right. They took on the role of “teacher” and pushed me into the role of student though I didn’t belong there.
At that time, I found out that my niece had been raped and she was threatened to keep quiet about it. It took time but she finally managed to speak out about it. I was devastated. How dare someone violate a child in such a way. I confided in my online “friends” and to my surprise they began giving me lessons in shadow work.
Not once did they ask how my niece was. Not once did they express sorrow or concern for her well being.
In a matter of a very short time, they all became ugly to me…the ugliest creatures on earth.
My heart turned black and cold and when I would not submit to the role of “student” to their foul teachings, they abandoned me.
They left a scar…a large one. And it is something I’ve had to work through.
This is a record of my journey and I have every right to use this space to work through this. If someone has a problem with that too bad. Maybe it means you are as ugly a creature as they are.
You cannot “buy it.” You’re either a shaman or you are not. In the West we think we control everything with money. We don’t. And to sell courses or apprenticeships is disrespectful of those who have gone through true initiation.