I’m a caged animal…
…and I remember every single motherfucker who used a cattle prod on me.
I feel like a caged animal…pacing…pacing…
If the cage opens, I will rip their faces off with my teeth.
And in their last moments they will ask themselves…
…was it worth pissing off this Schizophrenic Shaman?
No one gets away with any shit in this world.
Someone is always watching.
Do you know what bothers me about the Dissociative Identity forums? …the “Littles.” How does a “toddler” know one’s password and have the ability to post? It is a mocking of people who truly have this disorder.
I was fucked with hard by the shadow workers while I was in psychosis. I am well now, having led myself through their farce and bullshit into a new way of seeing things over the course of many years. Unfortunately, they are still fucking with the unwell. Most people tell me to move on and forget about them. I say not a fucking chance I will leave anyone like me behind to fight them off alone.
They fucked with the wrong psychotic. I have worked to position them in a place where they will learn the hard way and their lesson is starting.
You don’t fuck with me and walk away.
To begin with, our newly received sword-our newly grasped understanding of the mechanics of consciousness-exists predominantly as a concept, a mental construct, somewhat brittle and untried. This mental construct-like all concepts about spiritual matters-will break apart when applied to the rigors of harsh reality. The sword will fly into pieces. We will be left defenseless and with the sense that we know nothing of spiritual reality. This is a necessary part of the process, because if we know something with our minds only, we don’t really know anything. It is not until we know with our hearts that we truly know. – Diana Durham, Return of King Arthur, 142.
I’m still feeling the effects of my last journey. It was difficult both physically and mentally. It lasted about eight years. Eight years of seclusion from the pettiness of this world and to come back to this place after having such a profound experience has taken its toll.
I am stronger though. It taught me that the way of the shaman is my way. It is the path I must follow and to deny such a path causes great illness.
So here I am, after years of trials, lighting incense to spirit giving thanks for its guidance along the way.