”Those who practice shamanism eventually experience what is called shamanic dismemberment. During this process, a spirit, or group of spirits, destroy the journeyer’s “body”. It is then remade. This is a type of initiatory experience that simulates death and rebirth. Shaman’s will experience this multiple times over the course of their lives. By the time they grow old, a shaman’s familiarity with death, partly through this experience, allows them to meet Death as an old friend instead of fearing it as an enemy.”
I loved you once. I felt your pain.
With every attempt to heal you, you resisted and turned to cruelty. You blamed me for every tragedy that came upon you. You resisted seeing you were pushing love away when you turned to belittling and mocking. It pained me to no end.
I tried to show you the possibility of beauty within yourself but you spit venom and turned it into something ugly.
I am letting you go. You have no place in my future. You do not know me. You do not know yourself. You use pain as an excuse to hurt everyone in your path yet don’t see it as a path to healing.
You search and search and thought that search was for me. You don’t know what love is. You don’t know its power. You don’t know its pleasure and you lash out at those who are finding it.
You are jealous. You are jealous of the love I have for Lena. You imagine yourself as her but you could never be her. No one was as beautiful. No one as compassionate. No one as self-assured.
You keep looking. You are looking for a spell to cast, a candle to burn, but you have no clue.
I am shaman and you are no longer my friend.