“This is the story of how I never stopped running.
This is the story of how,
when the wolves knocked,
I met them at the door
and I became the beast, instead.”
— Ashe Vernon, from “Little Red,” Belly of the Beast

“…in the end they will know it is not I who need to prove myself as shaman
but rather they who need to prove themselves as human.”


004 - Copy

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”—Michelangelo


I was once asked by a psychiatrist
if I thought I was a prophet sent from God.
“No, of course not,” I replied. “I am a god.”
I’m still paying the medical bills for that blunder.


While in psychosis, I stood on a bible and proclaimed myself to be Gabriel standing in the presence of God, hence the name “Michael’s Wingman.”  I survived Shamanic Initiation and Near Death Experience, am beating MS and Schizophrenia, and I found my Soulmate.  The doctors have also given me the label of Dissociative Identity Disorder.  I say I am simply a shaman who shapeshifts.



8 responses to “About

  1. hey man, uh, for some reason you started following my blog, tho,ugh god knows why as i am the last person anyone, myself included should follow anywhere. i don’t follow many blogs because i think the quid pro quot of following just to get followers is absurd and ingenuous. but i don’t think that is the case with you. so, when someone likes or follows me, i check out their blog, but won’t follow if they are selling something, or it is not interesting to me. well, you don’t seem to be selling, and yours is very interesting, so i intend to follow. i appreciate your brutal openness about your schizophrenia. i am a little embarrassed to say that i am a mental health therapist because it is a profession full of people who have no business there, and it puts me in a system of care that is just fucking dysfunctional, underfunded, under pressure, under equipped, under trained, under a “who gives a fuck” curse from the public and the government. i have very little experience with schizophrenia as i do a lot of work with children and youth with conduct disorders and depression, usually stemming from severe deficits in family.
    but i am intrigued and very interested in what you have to say because it seems to me that your refuse to be neatly pigeon-holed as some tragic statistic in some category no one knows what to do with. i hope i’m not misreading you, but you seem to be able to embrace your schizophrenia as a core piece of your wholeness and are not afraid of it being part of your or you being part of it.
    i read recently some work by the scottish psychiatrist, r.d. laing, who was so far ahead of the field in terms of coming to understanding, acceptance, and entering the world of the schizophrenic as the core of treatment, whereas medication and institutionalization were the only things being done in the field of treatment. i was very impressed by his approach to this illness.
    ok, so i’ve gotten real long-winded. all this to say, i am interested, reading, listening, and somehow standing in your corner if that is cool with you.
    peace. bob

    • Bob, thanks so much for looking in on me. Your blog was suggested by a friend and I find it to be a very interesting read. I do my best here and you will notice I do pitch a fit from time to time, cursing God for the illness but for the most part I do my best to cope with what I’m given.

      I came across Laing several years ago though I find somethings are still a difficult read for me due to cognitive difficulties. He’s interesting though and I have seen some youtube videos featuring him.

      Thank you again for reading along. My best to you.

  2. Hi, I wondered if you could update your information on DID in the side panel. Depersonalization and Derealization aren’t an essential part of DID, and exist in many other disorders as well. The identity alteration and amnesia you mentioned are key of cause.

    The updated DSM-5 criteria are on http://traumadissociation.com/dissociativeidentitydisorder if that helps. Paul F. Dell’s paper “A new model of DID” (page 10) is better in my view – it goes into the intruding thoughts and feelings from alter identities for example.

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